Has anyone ever lost their child while shopping? I never thought it would happen to me, but it did! It was a busy Saturday at the mall when I almost lost my son and I felt like I’m the worst mom living on earth! I feel like I’m a terrible mom. Really. I can’t describe how I felt that day. It was a horrible and scary experience. We were inside the Department Store when Cyler was lost. He was just playing beside my mom and in just a snap he was gone! We couldn’t find him anywhere. I was so scared and paranoid, I actually don’t know what to do. My heart was beating so fast and my temperature was rising. I was just screaming his name and begging all the guards and saleslady to helped us out. Cj was still on his way home from their company outing so I called him right away to informed him. Of course, he got so worried too. After 10minutes of searching and while I was talking to Cj over the phone I saw a little boy in a red shirt running from afar so I ran as fast as I could to get him. And thank God it was my son, Cyler!
When I found him I hugged him tight and kissed him. I told him “Muntik nakong mamatay anak sa atake sa puso dahil sayo! Wag mo ng uulitin yan!” and he replied “What, Mommy?”. Fine. I just said never mind, the important thing is I found you. I couldn’t afford to lose you, anak. Mawala na ang lahat wag lang ikaw, Cyler. After that hindi ko na siya binitawan and from that day forward I swear to God that it will never EVER happen again! It was indeed the worst moment of my life. Hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko if anything bad happens to him.
This was a true eye opener for me and it taught me so many things. But I have to admit that I become more paranoid, fearful, and over-protective mom now. Of course, I still want to expose my child to public places and I don’t want to shelter him. I promise to be more extra-careful and vigilant now most especially when we go out to public places. I don’t think I can forgive myself if this happen again.
Any advice on overcoming this fear? Now I understand why some parents leash their kids, something I always swore I would never do, but I have to admit, the thought did cross my mind.